How I Understand It

How I Understand It

© 2006 Yulia Sharipova

Quote:

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
- Carl Jung



Discussion:

Carl Jung was a student of Sigmund Freud, which isn’t surprising when you look at some of the things he has said and written. The quote above has a very significant meaning in my life and in the lives of others around the world. Have you ever looked at someone and thought “That person is so unpredictable”, or “I hate the way she glares at me that way”, or criticized somebody’s irritating characteristics? Sure you have, we’ve all done that. If you take a moment to analyze your thoughts or the conclusions that you make about another, you will see, that you are not that dissimilar from them. You will see that the way your boss snaps because his son’s baseball team lost the Little Leagues, you snap at some insignificant guy that runs around and brings you your mail because your boyfriend didn’t call you back. Both of these things don’t have anything to do with you or the pitiable mail man.

In our world you often hear how people are criticizing others and saying malicious things. You might see an overweight person on the street and the first thing that you observe is their heaviness. You involuntarily think “how could a person consume so much and become so weighty?” You might not apprehend that they might have some disorder that causes them to eat more than the average person. As I walk down a school hall, I often hear people say things like “oh, she wore that shirt yesterday” or “look at those nerds, all they do is sit and work on math problems all day, what losers!” When you are irritated by others, judge them, or say nasty things about them without them even knowing about it, you are hurting them, but you are also hurting yourself. Admit it, have you ever judged someone and then felt good about it? I haven’t. There is always a slight sense of guilt after any insult or pointed finger. When you look at someone and are irritated or feel guilty, you are inflicting negativity upon yourself. You change your mood from being content and minding your own business, to being angry or jealous. It might seem like your emotions are not a big deal, but you will bring them home with you. By feeling upset, you are hurting the people around you and your loved ones. Like lice, or a virus, the negativity jumps on to them, and before you know it, china is flying and doors are slamming.

Sometimes such irritating things lead us to compare people with ourselves. We might look at a businessman wearing an Armani suit talking on his cell phone and getting into his limousine, and think, I wish I were him, I wish I could have his life. But you never know; what if his mother is dying or the love of his life left him? Would you still want to be him then?

I myself have often looked at someone and judged them without getting to know them, guilty as charged, and yes, I am trying to stop forming opinions about people, and maybe eventually I will quit. You shouldn’t care about some comment that your drycleaner makes about you, you don’t have the slightest idea about what is going on in his mind, or about what is happening in his life. If you stop looking at people through the eyes of a critic, you will see that life is a lot more peaceful that way. You don’t have to constantly worry about strangers and the things that irritate you about them.

When we look at someone and find something irritating in them, it might just seem like a simple feeling. What makes us feel anger towards others? The things that bother us are somehow linked with our own lives. Why do we look at someone and feel repugnance and revulsion towards them? The things that bother us, is it deep inside us that our sub-consciousness is bringing these issues up to the surface and makes us realize these areas of our lives that make us feel aversion towards others need attention.

What this has to do with me:

The quote above is personally significant to me. Sometimes I look at my siblings and think that they are so immature, and they have so much growing up to do. I feel like I am the perfect human compared to them. When I look at my sister crying, and her tantrums, I can connect her behavior to my own. If you take away her toy, she will start crying (and it is very difficult to take her attention away from the object that she wants). The same goes for me and other people around the world. No matter how old or mature some people may seem, you will always find some sort of weakness and irritating factor.

Conclusion:

Nearly everyone is irritated by one person or another, and when analyzing his/her behavior will find that life isn’t about judging people or being the best. We shouldn’t look at people and form opinions right away, for this will not only destroy our target’s self esteem, but it will ruin us. In this way we are killing ourselves from the inside out. When you are irritated by people, it might not necessarily have a large impact on their lives, but you in return are carrying around a chain of negativity.

We must understand that our emotions toward certain individuals are not just feelings that are on the surface. We feel these emotions because something is troubling us deep within us. You cannot always tell what it is that is bothering us but as we search deeper and deeper inside ourselves for answers to why we feel so angry or irritated toward some people, we are finding these reasons and are truly proving that “everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”